i got mixed up with the wrong guy.

i didn't look up and i didn't figure out what i was supposed to do right, before i did everything wrong.

this is all wrong.

and there are things that never should have happened. i miss myself when i knew what i was supposed to be doing and now i'm just bored and feeling miserable because someone thinks that i may be their savior from nothing.

i want to go to bed and feel safe, secure, unwanting, unneeding, satisfied, but all i want to do is cry myself to sleep and try and not wake up tommorrow for any reason, it's not death, i want, its peace from the wrong choices i have made and i want to make peace with myself, the part of me that gets trampled on is tired.

really tired.

so i have to say no more often and feed myself with my own type of goodness and understand that i can make my own heat if i lay still...

back&forth