the one thing that you dont' think will ever happen usually does.

take this for instance.

i, for one, thought that me and my friends could stay friends through pretty much anything.

but today was bullshit.

the past week or so has been the same thing.

and it all revolves around people i've known in high school.

now. i'm back in town.

it's a necessary situation. i don't like sleeping alone, but this is how it is right now.

i assumed that a couple of people might be happy that i was back.

well, it seems like it just doesn't matter if i'm here or not, i'm going to get ignored. and i mean hardcore.

like i see you and i say hi and you sorta just keep moving, you say hi, but it's obvious i'm not the person you want to see.

which leads me to believe that maybe this whole high school friend thing that has seeped into the last four years of my life, may just be the type of shitty relationships i don't need or want to deal with.

cause, i have some really amazing friends. they dont' happen to be from versailles.

i love my cats from versailles, but i don't deserve to feel bad every time i see them, hang out with them....etc.

i wish it was different.

i wish i could say i hadn't made any mistakes that may have led to this situation and i hate to say that i may not be the problem, i may just need to move on. it's just how it is.

but damn.

i can't pretend anymore, that i can just pick up the phone and dial the numbers i used to dial and be satisfied.

i'm big on friends, but it seems alot of my friends are big on family.

where i see my friends as family, these people seem to see friends as perfectly dispensable.

and i can't do that.

back&forth