okay.

so it goes like this.

girl and boy move into apartment

where girl and boy already live.

first girl and boy function normally under the circumstances, however, each of them suffer seperately under rule of boy #2.

girl #2 starts thinking boy #2 may not work out permanently.

girl #1 and girl #2 are best friends.

boy #2 blames me! (girl #1) for ruining said relationship of boy and girl #2

does this make any sense to anyone?

first off, i am very easy to get along with, i let you do my thing, if you let me do mine.

i was never really allowed to do my thing, cause i kept leaving shoes in the living room, something he hates, and so i was talked about behind my back. (about more than shoes)

he never said anything to me. just her.

shitty shitty shitty.

and in turn i did the same thing

took all my complaints to her.

shitty shitty shitty.

i have no excuses for that.

so now.

he's moving out. today.

they can't live together anymore, so he's leaving. he said he would move out, but he really didn't want too.

he said that he really loves her and he just wanted to tell me that, but he talked mad shit behind my back about the whole thing being my fault.

now what i want to know.

if it is my fault?

this isn't the first someone has been intimidated by my seemingly natural ability to persuade people to (i think) do the right thing.

when i see my friends getting played, (which is usually apparent cause of the men they choose, or the ones that choose them) i tell them about it.

i can't just sit by and say, oh its okay, at least he doesn't beat you!?!?

fuck that.

but i think hey, amanda can make up her own mind. she's a big girl. she always has before.

and i hope that i don't take advantage of any vulnerabilities.

but. i'm worried. a little.

cause this guy hates me, and i really think he does, cause he thinks i just ruined his lifelong relationship thing.

she says i didn't. and it's not like i ever stepped in any of their arguments, all i did was support her decisions and talk things out with her. which is what i think she needed.

i apparently bring out the child in amanda.

which i don't think is an entirely bad thing, it just mean that i may be slightly immature for my age, which is totally possible cause i got stuck in time when my parents got divorced.

maturity went to the backburner when i had to learn how to just survive.

so. what does this all mean?

i'm not sure.

if you have any ideas, i'd sure like to hear 'em.

back&forth