starting out the summer, i have numerous names on my lips and

too many faces in my eyes..

when i awake i see a fullness in your step, blinking at the bright squint that i can't seem to avoid when i step outside.

around you, and you, are bubbles of light that are impossible to step through...

i can see your soul pierce my skin and i welcome the touch.

and i haven't written poetry in over a year, and i haven't been able to purge through the second step of my heart...only the first. i am indirect under the guise that i am telling the truth, blue eyed-safe glance.

but i lie. and i'm dishonest with you (myself)--you-- who i am no longer able to trust because you could not physically protect me from harm, where my mind was not needed...

through my dreams i am free. in my dreams i live a life that is impossible to realize. my dreams are in color. colored by my incomplete loss and insurgent attitude, the chip on my shoulder just hidden by my hair.

the true reason why i cannot cut.

so i am always on the brink of tears. waiting for the perfect embrace to allow them to spill onto the concrete.

turning my phone off. letting it ring

(vibrate)

reminding myself that the calls always stop when they are most needed.

reminding myself that cell phones are a nuisance. (another lie)

so this must be where it ends. a spillage of poetry slop. a step into nowhere.

not everything is that important.

back&forth