in an existential rant about love in my head, on my bike, on the way home, from the play.

i decided that this need to understand new relationships and the kindling of old relationships requires the absolute need to understand that love is not an infinite thing and the connections we feel that either come from time or from the cosmos will end and others may begin and they may not, but ultimately, we will all end up alone. and it's not depressing, it's not even a desperate notion, i may not even truly understand loneliness and the havoc it can place on a person's soul...but i do understand my own limitations on this planet and my time constraints which are many...

which doesn't mean that i have found my peace and i'm sure that this satiated feeling is just because i have found a home in berea and i have a place to live and i have friends that love me.

and maybe this struggle to understand people and to try to find my best friends "again" is just a struggle to understand myself and let people around me know that in some overt way...

like talking to aubrey....

and who i'm not talking to for that matter. but i'm just not bothered by the friend thing...anymore.

maybe that's clarity...

and look at me, i'm not even stoned :)

back&forth